400k - Saturday 05/12/2007, New Jersey Christine and I decided to sign up for a flat route and to drive to NJ for our first 400km brevet. Petr is graciously coming along to drive us back and forth. We get two hotel rooms at the start of the ride, and as usual I don't sleep a wink during the night. A 1:00 am start means I get no sleep, I'm up by 12:00 am to get ready, and have breakfast. I'm not feeling 100%... There's a whole bunch of cyclists at the start, we go off in a big group and chatter left and right takes us through the first hour of the morning without a problem. Only to find out that we have been following someone ahead of us who went off-course and we are totally lost. Nobody around to ask for directions. We split in 2 groups, one led by a GPS guy who claims to have found an alternative route to hook up with the cue sheet, the other including Christine and myself who decide to ride back to the start line.  On the way back, BANG! my rear tire blows up when I catch a piece of metal on the shoulder, so Christine and I lose the group and are left alone. We've wasted a good solid hour on this ordeal, and it marks the day with a bad omen. As we scramble to make up for lost time, we are also deeply aware that by now there's nobody left behind us, and we are playing catch-up with the other riders. This gives me a feeling of insecurity.  At the first checkpoint, the volunteers help me patch up my slit tire as best as they can, but they strongly suggest that I should replace it as soon as possible. Petr will be at the 200km checkpoint, and he offers to bring me a new tire. The road up to this point has been mind-numbingly flat; we pass cranberry bogs, horse farms and a few state parks, not having a clue as to what direction we are going. This is hardly what people think when they think New Jersey. It's actually quite pretty.  The organizer of this ride is at the 200k checkpoint and as we are having a sandwich while Petr is fixing my tire, he goes into a ramble about us being late and far behind the rest. He warns us that if we don't pick up the pace we won't make the checkpoints, blurting out that we need to keep an average of 20. Christine flips out and is ready to drop everything and leave, I start analyzing what he said and realize that it doesn't make any sense; we still have a 2 hour buffer on closing times. Turns out, Laurent was correct, but he was speaking in kilometers, not miles, and 20km/h is what we've been doing all along! But Christine wants no part of it and the moment we leave she is off like a bullet. Except that the headwind has picked up so strongly that it slows us down to a top speed of 9mph in the flats.As we turn a corner, I see Petr driving off with the car and I signal to him that everything's OK with the tire. I slow down to make him understand my hand gestures, and Christine decides to keep her pace and move along. She is still convinced that time is running out. I have no way to catch her now, so I am left alone at the back of the pack. The next 100km are a blur, I just remember that it got dark, and with no moon shining, it was pitch dark! It started raining pretty heavily, and I got chilled to the bone: I didn't have my rain jacket with me. All of a sudden I see that Petr is standing at my next turn with the car shining the lights on me. He hands me over the jacket, and I realize that this would be ground for disqualification, as you are not allowed to get any support except at checkpoints. This is a distraction that I don't need. I'm not far from the last checkpoint and when I get there Christine has teamed up with another rider and they are just about ready to leave. As I ride in, Petr is right behind me, and all of a sudden it makes perfect sense to give in… I announce my decision to the volunteers, turn in my brevet card, pack my bike on the car and head back to the hotel with Petr.  I have DNF'd. The day was a culmination of small setbacks that eventually caught up with me and my determination. Back to the hotel, I take a shower and go to sleep right away, convinced that I did the right thing. What wakes me up is Christine arriving at 2:00 am, elated for having made it despite all the difficulties. I am sincerely happy for her, she has shown amazing strength of character and determination. My situation starts to sink in, it's not so much for having failed to complete this ride, but the consequences are a daunting prospect. If I want to qualify, I need to do another 400 somewhere, and FINISH IT! The trip back to MA is not fun…
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